ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH

ANGELS WE HAVE HEATD ON HIGH

IN HONOR OF REUBEN KEE

http://www.ridzuan.info/tianhong/BackHomePianoSolo-ReubenKee.mp3

Dec 2, 2007

Wow. Taking part in a marathon is something that I never ever dream of taking part. Hmm wait a minute. I sound like I run the full marathon. Nope. Dun think too highly of me. I took part in the 10km run together with Angeline, Mei Fang & Boi.
Being busy wif exams wif i dun noe wat, i had no time to train. Hence today, i went not prepared physically. Still, i managed to complete the run in under 100 mins i guess.. It was kinda of fun running and walking in the event. Wif so many strangers cheering you, you are juz so motivated to run. I was doing the run on my own. Plugged wif Mp3, donning a cap in my runnning gear, i run, walk, run and walk and finally run in the event. U noe, the moment u reach one fullerton, reaching the ending point, no matter how worn out you are, tired, u juz feel so motivated. it was like hordes of strangers just cheering you up, motivating you not to give up and complete your own race. The feeling was just magical. When you finally cross the finishing line, you just felt.... dun noe, the felling is undescribeable. happy and satisfied that you completed it. I guess, i will participate again next year but with proper training. I may not be a winner in the event but i feel that every runner a winner of your own race. Be it the shortest timig in your life or a timing of leisure walk, it all lies in your hand. Goof job to all runners who participated in the marathon. A salute to all those who complete the the full marathon. I do hope in 5 years down the road, i will be able to complete the full marathon. It aint ez but it is an accomplishment in life

Phew.... Exams finally over..

Phew...
What A relief.
Have not been blogging though for super long time.
Anyway, i finally finish my exams. Come Dec 15, I will be in my final year liao. N this time, next year, I will be busy doing touch up for my FYP. Sigh.

There are so many things that happen in my life the past few months. It was like a series of event that Thinking back i dun noe how i survive. Though so, i survive with picking up bad habits. Since i did my fasting this year, I realized, i juz can't drink anymore. My tolerance for alcohol just grew very weak. Went Bala to chill out few times during tis period lest I go mad, I can't even finish my pint. Failure or lost interest. Even wine, i now prefer to drink leisurely.

During my absence of blogging, i did few interesting stuffs. I was in Batam from Nov 16-17 on a community service project with my company ie Credit Suisse. A group of 19 went down Batam to build house for the unfortunate together with the Human Habitat.

Gosh, it was really hard labour for us. When we came down to the site, the house was still in the beginning stage. Imagine all of us who are bankers enjoying werking in air conditioned office facing the screen day in and out exchange 2 days of our life to rough it out in the village weking as labourers. We were basically building a house w/o the assistance of any machinery. All our tools and equipments are basically manual. Even wire cutting of steel columns is done via physical strength. We tolied with hard soil, carry bricks, painted the zinc roof and prepare the steel columns. Gosh, it is tiring. Physically worn out at the end of the day. Many decides to go for a message the moment we reach our hotel. Lest for few of us, we decides to head back to our room, have a cold shower and sleep till dinner. Dinner was nothing fantastic, simple dinner. No matter how tasteless the food is, all being hungry after a day of toiling under the sun, we all gorged in. Imagine on the first day of reporting for werkz in Batam, we did nothing but digging and digging the whole day. The guys and the ladies were all chipping one way or another in the digging process. We had deadlines to meet we felt but to the Indonesians, they felt we were werking too hard. Being S'poreans and expats werking in S'pore, we always stick to our deadlines and werkz under pressure which the locals dun like. As they say, when in Rome, do wat the romans do. Hence, in Batam, follow the way of life of the pp in Batam. No matter how ridiculous the process is and you have better ways of improving it, you can't change anything. Its their territory and we are there as guests to assist.

Anyway, pictures shows a thousand words of our experience there. Click on the link
below to view them

http://www.flickr.com/photos/90552817@N00/sets/72157603239815216/show/
The above link is courtesy of one of our colleagues Ernest who took the wonderful shots.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21076472@N02/show/with/2051697574/
The above link is courtesy of one our colleagues Sabu in another team who took the wonderful shots.

Thanks Guys

6 October 2007

Over the past few weeks, I have been getting very strong support from all my friends from different walks of life in all areas. I am glad that I have so much support be it emotionally, psychologically, being there for me, standing by me, giving me support and words of encouragement. I never knew that i have very strong support of friends.

I thank you guys for being there and rest assured that when u guys & gals out there needs it, i will be there 4 u all. Love u guys n gals. I mean it. =)

Thanks.

September 28, 2007

Been a while since I blog man. Quite busy recently....

Haha... Today was quite a tiring day... Imagine, i was falling asleep after lunch. I was like dozing off frm 2 pm in between while doing my werkz. I was like walking around and washing up to freshen up every ten minutes. Gosh, tat muz have been the onli day tat I was walking around non stop.

Met Angeline & Mei Fang for dinner. Guess wat, i met them @ ViVo @ 6.30pm & we onli had our dinner at 9pm and where we during the 3hours grace. @ EYS!!!!

Imagine tat! The 2 girls were @ EYS shopping for Hashimi, bird nest, ginseng, herbal jelly and watever goodies there. By the end of it, the total bill amted to more than SGD1,000.oo Phew.. tat amt was after discount and not before discount....

quite an experience shopping @ TCM.

September 17 2007

6 months ago, at this time of the day, i have just walked into the age of 27. That was exactly 6 months ago. Not only tat, I was mugging for my papers oso. It was rather a very sad day. A day of happiness was spent by mugging. N mugging. I do remember at that point of time, my old buddy called me up and asked me out which i rejected him outright as I was mugging.

Surprisingly at night while i was mugging, he appeared out f nowhere. There he was standing outside wif How Mean carrying cheese cake for me. I was delighted nad touched tat such a good friend of mine would do tat for me.

Though I am angry wif him @ times, he is still a good buddy of mine. Tat dae though was spoilt, it was a happy day eventually.

Though I am mugging, it was day full of happiness. Its the simple tings in life that made me happy and bright. I dun have to be lavish wif expensive dinners and gifts. Rather, its jus the simple things in life that made me happy

September 16 2007

Phew... Finally, a breather...
Been 3 weeks since i M.I.A from my blog. Well, the past 3 weeks or so has been hell for me. It was more like a roller coaster of emotions, incidents, stress, and more stress. I was even at a point of times that i was just lazy to go to work that I just took urgent leave consecutively for 2 days.
There are so many things that I wish to pour out my hearts to. But think, certain things are best left unsaid and forgotten totally. In life, when things bogged you down and you are just worn out physically and emotionally drained out, i just feel like walking away. Walking away @ times seems to be the best solutions. Hurt I am but to me, there's no point of debating. Cause to me, I a know what I am, who I am. Thus, i dun have to argue nor explain things to anyone out there cause each one of you are able to judge for yourself. Not liking a person doesn't mean that one is a homosexual. To me, I am a person who dreams of ideals. I have very high standards of my dream girl. After searching for so long, I finally met one. The dream girl of mine, if i am not wrong, she is in her early 30s liao. She is currently working in the hotel industry nearby my office. Was surprised and shock to see the girls of dreams. Day & night, her image ran thru my mind. But, I can only admire from far. She got a very nice name too. Of the so many times there, I saw her @ one of my sessions of drinks recently. I was so fascinated by her elegance, beauty, wits n demureness in a lady. She speaks well and carry herself very well. Too bad, now is the fasting month, so i wont be able to go down and see her. Sigh! What a pity! Hopefully, i can see her pretty soon.

Meeting the girl of my dreams was like a dream come true. Like i said, it was like a dream. Hopefully, it will be a reality. Not easy to find a girl of my dreams nor meet one in person.

Other than life, i am facing challenges @ werkz. The bank has decided to restructure my team by products. Thus, meaning Treasury will be greatly affected. FX & MM will be purely one team and Options & OTC will cross over to Structured Products & Middle Office.

The seniors in the team are greatly affected it and so do the juniors. Management has decided to pull over the seniors to be part of the Structured Products. Thus leaving juniors like me, Jason, Ryan & Justin manning the FX & MM. If covering Singapore books, it is still manageable. But, it is covering,Singapore, Clariden, Sydney and also cash reconciliations & queries for the 3 books. I was like.... Worried and shocked by such a restructuring. C'mmon, i am like the senior of the team which with i only like have 1 year experience in my current company. I was give the options to cross over as the portfolio which i took over recently will also be crossed to Structured Products. I am given the options to cross over or remain in FX & MM which the mgt has decide for me. Though as much as I wanted to cross over and learn new things, My exams and final year in my studies are my greatest obstacles. I do notwish to sacrifice my studies over werkz. Though the work load of FX & MM is lower than options, the sress and the demands are higher as it invloves huge amt of funds transacting every seconds. And any wrong move by any party, will result in overdraft face by the bank. The norm is, MGT will look or rather chase after FX & MM team as they are the one managing the cash of the bank. But its ridiculous u noe, i cant be monitoring all ccy at all times. Sometimes, the pp in securities are also dumb, they have been industry for so long. DUn tell me wat time certain ccy have their cut off times. Jus like securities sales and purchases, u can onli transact during trading hours and not any time you prefer. Thru, fx can be bought over online at any times. but u mus noe tat you can onli trade foreword value or spot value or value tom and not value today.....

I made my decision liao/ I will stay in FX & MM. Cause my studies are very impt. I am not willing to sacrifice my degree for the sake of the coy.

Hope, i made the right decision. Watever the outcome is, i muz "ren" till Feb. & I have updated my resume liao. So happy =)

2007 August 09 ~ Happy 42 Birthdae Singapore

Singapore is 42 today. It is not ez for Singapore to have come so far today. Trials & tribulations, challenges & obstacles, friends, Happiness & sadness are part & parcel of its of journey.

I may have mentioned that 2007 is a super challenging year for me. N up till now, it is. It is not due to musical, nor studies. But rather it is due to werkz and my life.

So many things have happened recently. No matter what setbacks I faced now, Life still has to move on. Juz b'cuz i am stagnant now dosn't mean tat time will wait for me. Life will still have to move on. I still have to go to werkz and school. Bills still have to be paid and tutorials to be done.

Its tough but I have to do it. I noe i am strong and I very determined to start afresh.

Though I was shocked, clueless,disappointed, devastated, frustrated @ times, I have to move on.

If @ times, i muz be a villian to correct things, I will do it. I muz be myself and do wat i feel and deem fit.

Time and tide will wait for no man.

To all out there, All the best in your future endeavours.

To family, bothers, sisters and friends, I am sorry for those whom I have hurt unintentionally.
No matter what has happen, I still do treasure our friendships and kinships. How about you?

Memories are there to stay but frenz are few and priceless. Hi & bye frenz are ez to find but those tat can click wif you and u juz can communicate and have fun are few.

Happy Birthday Sinagpore

2007 Aug 3

Hui

NTU COnvocation

2007 July 25 Super Sianx

Been a while since i blog. So far, July has rather been an interesting month. As in my previous entry, I was worried over the youths performance and guess what. Their performance was last Sat and they have done well. The performance standard has at least went up on level. From where they were when we first saw them, their performance standard has went up. Am proud that they have improved. Though comments from the audiences were encouraging, the youths still have a long way to go.

I bought flowers for a girl. Rather for a buddy. So far in my life, other than my mum, onli 3 girls have received flowers. Up till now, I still can't decipher why girls like flowers. Just like guys like their toys. Am just glad that Jean like the flowers that i bought. Buying flowers is very stressful. Heng, I dun buy flowers everyday. Its worse than sitting for an exams. N i always have this habit, whenever i hold flowers in my hand, my hand will tremble unknowingly n guess how bad it was trembling yesterday. Even Jia Ming n Pei Wen saw how my hand trembles when I was holding it. I dun noe i am very shy or rather very embarrassed to be seen carrying a bouquet of flowers. Wadever, it is, I am glad tat she likes the flowers though i had it delivered to NTU. Yeah n Jean congratulations on your graduation.

Am feeling very sianx. my 2 gd frenz dun let me gon play 2dae, though we plan last week liao. Tot i can go play n destressed 2dae. On leave for so long yet I am stuck at home studying. Tot I could go on a trip after my papers tml. Looking at things now, looks like I wont. So sad. My mum told me that we are going Kota Kinabulu on Monday and everything has been settled and I say okie. I gave her the money to make payment as I dun wish to disappoint my mum and my mum's friends mum whom I treat like a grandmother. N guess wad, the agent who is malay called and say tat they are unable to book accommodation 4 us. There was no mere mention of it and now..

Dun wish to show my mum my disappointment, I told her that its okay if she reschedule the trip and go without me. very sianx. Very disappointed that I can not go on a trip with my mum. Tot, Initially i can go on a trip with her alone and later, her frenz and her mum joined us. With her friend joining us, I was very disappointed liao and now. I told my mum tat i jus dun trust Malay run company. Though we are malays, i find that malay run companies are cheaters. Serious and i am not joking. After booking and paying deposit and promising us the stuffs, called to inform saying no accommodation and there gonna extra costs incurred.
i was like fuming mad.

No trip. No fun. Very sad.

Tml my accounting paper n i not prepared for it yet. How? Die liao! N muz plan wad to do liao.

SuPeR SianXX

2007 July 14 2007

Today, was supposed to be the rehearsal for all. It seems that things are not that smooth sailing yet for everything...

My life in a mess. MY classmates ignoring me. My friends deserting me. My exams round the corner. N i really feel like giving up. I am useless.

N the best part is that, I just realized at 2.15 am July 15 2007, i lost my O2 Atom Executive PDA phone. A phone that was with me for only abt 4 mths.

The most expensive phone I every bought and the shortest time that i have it wif me. I am so frustrated wif myself.

Am feeling sianx and ...

Why? this is like the 3rd time i lost a no contract phone? n in total, 6 phones, i lost liao...

its always the lousy phone like motorala, siemens, and sony ericcson tat i wont lose one. NOkia and O2, i confirm lose liao

AT least, I own my IPOD MINI 4 abt 2 years liao and its dying on me

i lost my phone. i lost. i am lost. i feel so useless. i am defeated. I am not what i am i think i used to be. Can sumbody help me find myself? I am lost. Am defeated

Help. I lost myself today. Pls help me find my way back. Pls before i do sumthing stupid

my life is in a mess.

2007 June 10 Tuesday

lie in this empty bed
with this aching head
you left me here this morning
now i can't remember why
i let you in again
to get under my skin
and every time you disappear
i remember

how i look for you
but i can't see your face
and then i hear you
the only thing you say

i am afraid right now
i don't wanna let you down
and i am the one who can't be saved
the only thing i say
i am afraid right now
what if i can't get out?
what if i don't want to be saved?
this is me afraid

now there's no place like home
to make me feel alone
i see you everywhere i am
and i remember how you ran out to hide
you kept me close behind
following your every move so i remember

i look for you
but i can't see your face
then i hear you
the only thing you say is
don't look for me
cause you will never say
you won't hear me
you won't hear me

why do we keep this up?
why do we live like us?
when there is nothing left to save
will you be afraid?

Jul 1 2007

Hair for Hope is CCF's annual fundraising event which sees members of the public shaving bald in support of children with cancer.

Children with cancer typically lose hair when they undergo chemotherapy treatment. Hair for Hope is the only head-shaving event in Singapore and undertaking this symbolic act of shaving helps to raise awareness of childhood cancer and monetary donations in aid the CCF beneficiaries.

Close to 900 volunteers, comprising men, women, children and babies, bravely shed their locks to send the message of hope and love to our children. With the act of each volunteer stepping forward to shave their head, it represents the understanding by an individual of the ordeals which a child with cancer is subjected to.

Your shaved head, now undoubtedly a topic of interest among your friends, family members and colleagues, is a great way to start a conversation on how children with cancer deserve our support!

This project is what we have chosen to do in solidarity of children with cancer and in celebration of their courage. Thank you for being a part of Hair for Hope 2007.

Shaving my head Bald is sumthing that I will never dream of doing cuz i am vain. My hair has always been my crowning glory n will always be. An f for me to shave it off, I was like so sad.

Do you noe tat I was so sad after shaving my head bald even though I did it out of my own accord? I was so sad. Lucky for me, I had the support of the pp ard me. n the small things tat CG did tat dae by patting me on the back and comforting me me made me feel better. I was like I did the right thing. And i dun care how things gonna turn out tml. Main thing, i was proud tat i did shave my head bald.

Cheers for all the BAld pp out there. And to our dear beneficiaries, pls persevere and have the strong will to fight. Its never ez. LIfe is short and njoy all we can

07 Jul 07 A week after I am botak

It has been a week since I am a botak. The past one week has been a challening one for me cuz I was given mixed reactions from the public.

The nice, the ugly, the nasty, the ...... from Singaporeans

Being bald and a slight cough from you, from a sardine like packed train and people squeezing in ard you and a slight cough, from where you are standing, there will be a gap ard u

Sum pp ard us are like baboons and inconsiderate. I truly feel the hurtness that some Singaporeans ard us are experiencing. NOt only are they battling for their life to survive, they also have to bear the gruntness of Singaporeans.

JUNE 26 2007

Was @ Pan Pacific earlier on. Went out 4 drinks today.

I was like... Ur life is so much better than me and yet you are complaining about it. It is so unfair. I wanna study. No scholarship 4 me. Werkz sucks big time 4 me @ CS. For the amt of pay, i get @ CS, it is not really not enuf.

I wanna quit. Cuz I really find it difficult coping wif werkz n studies mainly currently. My commitments to TC, Musical n DB, i really now considering. Am i up to the challenge or I juz cant make it? I hate to disappoint the pp ard me.

If only, there is many RAMAN ard, THEN I can be at all the places tat i am suppossed to be nad have fun.

I can werkz and play as hard.

I wonder how. I wonder what will happen 2 my stats

Can i give up on my paper or do i juz give up

I cant do tat. I jus spend too much time,energy, effort and money in all tis

I can never give up

even if i give up, i wont. MY conscience will never let me give up.

The pp ard me are my strength n my powers

I am talking crap...

Durghh

2007 June 24, Sunday

Walking Down Memory Lanes



Our Virgin Chefs @ the Musical. I have never seen such detailed process taken in preparing Hard boiled eggs. Accolades to all who have assisted in the preparation of dinner.



The final pdt of our specially prepared dinner for all



"School of rock" Rocks... my group. Good job guys

You can never imagine this scenery... It looks cool man. Singing so nicely that Singapore decides to snow =)













High liao.. these 2 pp super high.... Singing is like their
passion....
A way 4 them 2 be themselves...




















My bro, Saint, not his real name though .... Haha
Taught me a lot of stuffs while I was with SGX.
Though, father of 2, he still thinks he is young.. Dugh






my cuz and her child hood frenz.. All like family now.. She is awardern though.. though looks friendly.













TRAMPOLINE CLUB
One big happy Family
Together we all make a difference









Ending the journey with a nice dozing off..
Sweet dreams.. NO matter how tough life is.
When the tough gets going, the going gets tougher.
Lets all werkz together to make this
a better life and all possible.

2007 June 23, Saturday

Haha... A lot of pp were shocked to see me at TC today! Their expressions were like "aren't u supposed to be at the musical practice today?"

I was like diao...

For TC, we went TREKKING today and I sure did have lots of fun. Especially with my group. So hyper active n cheerful.

I msg Yuan Juan yesterday and spoke to her today. I was assuring her that we will try our outmost best to arrange the musical practice sessions in such a way that TC will not be clashed. Cuz, we do noe that at least 4 TC Vols are involved in the musical and we have commitments and its ot nice to break our commitments w/o filling in people.

I had fun today. And today, I saw a side of Sitik which I never saw before. I have never seen Sitik behaving in such a way before. I was touched to see to know how much he loves his bro and take such good care of him. Though, they joked and play rough with each other, on our way to lunch today, when Kusala was feeling tired, he actually piggy back his bro. I was like.... I had never seen such a pic before. I always tot that this kind of things happen only in the movies and never real life. Over lunch, I was admiring Sitik for once.. He really appreciate brotherly love and family ties which is something I never had. The closest brother I had was by Bros. Edward & Saint are the ones who have been guiding me and showing me the path and always advising me on issues. But one topic, i will never share with them. ie Girls,

You may wonder why? Cuz it is an area that they are good at. And they hate to see me, their little bro, to face this kinda of problem. Thus, when it comes to girls, I will juz mum my mouth and keep shut and dun share wif them lest I get a tongue lashing from them. Of all things, i fear most from them is their tongue lashing. It is as vicious as poison. U can never imagine their words of wisdom's... It can kill u man.. Damm vicious

aNYWAY, i guess in terms of the extrinsic aspects of my life now, I am slowly picking up the pieces. Hopefully, it be okie soon.

Cuz, my life is now in a mess especially since I joined CS.

I am considering tendering. I will made my decision in July after my exams.

buT THE THING IS, can i survive if i tender without a job that matches my current pay esp since my parenst have retired?

Life is tough man

MUSICAL IN PROGRESS

Hooray.. We finally had our first meeting for the musical. We have updated the cast of the progress so far. N we hope to have excite these pp with all the line up of events tat we have in stored

Quite ambitious i dare say for our team

Short performance in JULY for the Vols Connection

A performance for our potential sponsor in SEPT for LTA

X'mas Light up @ ORCHARD - Performing for the President in public

So cool. This gonna boost the confidence of our youths.

And in June 2008, our finale...

The main production

With Wei Jie out of the picture in sept due to studies, I do hope we will pull it through.

Cheers n hooray for the team that is werking hard. N Wei Jie, Jia you in ur studies

Musical Camp _UNKNOWN

Wow.. Been a long time since i last blog.

Finally, I can take a breather this weekend n have my desserts of stressed again from tml all the way to end July.

Last weekend, I was involved in a camp.. A camp for the youths involved in the musical. I dun noe wat is my role in the musical but 1 thing i noe, when it comes to obstacles in the musical, I am there to clear the obstacles n move on. The werkzflow tat we do in the musical is diff from all my other projects but one thing i noe. I am njoyning it cuz i am werking wif various pp n oso youths

IT WAS A challenge werking wif pp of different age n the best thing i nkoy most in the camp was at nite. Jia ming like to play dao pok n yet he was the one tat was dao pok most during the camp... remember in an hr at nite while playing cards, he was dao pok like at least 20 times

All tired out in the camp, while the campers r sleeping, "mad Woman", jia ming, jean, ailing n me were discussing of the days activities tat passed n oso the activites for the cuming day. by the time, we end discussion, it was like 4 plus in the morning.. n we all had to beawake by 7 am n prepare for the morning activities

I learnt other things during the camp oso. it was more of confronting my fears.... As i say, my fears were loneliness n relationships.

Due to this 2 fears, i am yet to overcum my fears of falling in love n involving in a relationships

haha.. anyway, jean tried talking to me abt tis issue on day 2 b4 the performance. But I guess, i was still uncomfortable taliking abt it and avoided it anyway possible.

haha, i noe i run away from problems esp concerning tis..

Anyway, it was also a test for me.

One thing, i am glad is tat CG n the rest of us r back to normal. We are all vols of TC... We cant survive w/o each other..... So are the kids.. They look up to us as their role models n sumone they can be comfortable wif when outside.

MUz really thank all the pp involved in the camp for making it a successful one. No one will ever imagine tat even on the eleventh hour of the eve of the camp day, we are still sorting out some camp stuffs. N i onli packed my bags for the camp like 1 hour before we report.

The hidden spies, though they have no idea of what is gonna happen during, the camp<>

The next 6 mths gonna be hectic 4 me

MY exams in july n nov

Dec my final year n the start of my FYP in Accounting

Musical performances in JULY, Sept, n perhaps dec n the garnd finale in JUne 2008

The skeleton of the musical is out oredi.. n we hope to have the contents n materials by early aug

I really wanna see tis muscial thru cuz I dun wanna disappoint the aspirations of the youths who have werkz so hard 2 cum tis far.

As the tough gets going, the going gets tough. Hope all of us werkz togethere as a team

1ST BLOG

Hi...
So cool. First entry of the blog here.
Well, I must try to update this blog frequent.
Well, compared to my other blog, this gonna be different.

You know, 2007 has been a very challenging year for me. Though, we are now in the mid year, I at times do wish that we are in early 2008.

Nobody knows that, I start my year 2007 on a wrong foot note. Since, Jan 1, things have been rough n getting rougher for me. I only wish that GOD will give me the strength n perseverance for me to continue my life pursuits.