Monday 20th July 2009,

Waking up in sombre mood, I dragged myself up in bed. I really wish I am off dead. I would say I am now a walking zombie. A living man with no soul, no pride, no joy lugging around a heavy burden where no one else knows. I have been lifeless. Even walking around nowadays, I have no pride. My sense of pride is gone forever.

I am kind of unwell today. Fever, dehydrated & loss of appetite. My friends say I have no glow today. I am like a walking zombie today.

I dare not share or do not know who I can trust with my problems now. I am screwed.

Thursday, 16 July, 2009

It was a rough day at work today & rougher even when home. My worst nightmare came true. The notice was served. Deep in my heart, I was hoping that the notice will not be served as I planned to settle it end of next week.

I am really scared and worried. My future just goes bleak from now on. How am I going to overcome this? Am I going to ruin my future just like?


Cancelled my plans totally for the week as I am now in this mess

Tuesday 7th July 2009

It was a pretty busy day today. I made a few mistakes today. Have 4 trades that I was unable to ensure that settlement be done today. I fail to ensure that the Stock Loan Team settled all their transactions and get covers for deficits for the settlement for the equity trades.

I would say I am at a pretty sensitive position. To ensure that equity trades be settled accordingly and not overstepping my barriers to ensure that Stock Loan team does their work. Apparently, they check the positions but I am not sure how they check and based on what clientele. By the time, I wait for their reports, I only have 5 mins to call my front desk and get the necessary details out for cover and get Stock Loan Team to process it. Don’t forget, I also have to analyse positions across 2 entities and decide on the best course of action. I admit I am a bit slow in analysing the positions. Its challenging for me I would say but I hope to fare better…

Pretty tired today.. so wont blog much..

Danke,

3rdteen