September 16 2007

Phew... Finally, a breather...
Been 3 weeks since i M.I.A from my blog. Well, the past 3 weeks or so has been hell for me. It was more like a roller coaster of emotions, incidents, stress, and more stress. I was even at a point of times that i was just lazy to go to work that I just took urgent leave consecutively for 2 days.
There are so many things that I wish to pour out my hearts to. But think, certain things are best left unsaid and forgotten totally. In life, when things bogged you down and you are just worn out physically and emotionally drained out, i just feel like walking away. Walking away @ times seems to be the best solutions. Hurt I am but to me, there's no point of debating. Cause to me, I a know what I am, who I am. Thus, i dun have to argue nor explain things to anyone out there cause each one of you are able to judge for yourself. Not liking a person doesn't mean that one is a homosexual. To me, I am a person who dreams of ideals. I have very high standards of my dream girl. After searching for so long, I finally met one. The dream girl of mine, if i am not wrong, she is in her early 30s liao. She is currently working in the hotel industry nearby my office. Was surprised and shock to see the girls of dreams. Day & night, her image ran thru my mind. But, I can only admire from far. She got a very nice name too. Of the so many times there, I saw her @ one of my sessions of drinks recently. I was so fascinated by her elegance, beauty, wits n demureness in a lady. She speaks well and carry herself very well. Too bad, now is the fasting month, so i wont be able to go down and see her. Sigh! What a pity! Hopefully, i can see her pretty soon.

Meeting the girl of my dreams was like a dream come true. Like i said, it was like a dream. Hopefully, it will be a reality. Not easy to find a girl of my dreams nor meet one in person.

Other than life, i am facing challenges @ werkz. The bank has decided to restructure my team by products. Thus, meaning Treasury will be greatly affected. FX & MM will be purely one team and Options & OTC will cross over to Structured Products & Middle Office.

The seniors in the team are greatly affected it and so do the juniors. Management has decided to pull over the seniors to be part of the Structured Products. Thus leaving juniors like me, Jason, Ryan & Justin manning the FX & MM. If covering Singapore books, it is still manageable. But, it is covering,Singapore, Clariden, Sydney and also cash reconciliations & queries for the 3 books. I was like.... Worried and shocked by such a restructuring. C'mmon, i am like the senior of the team which with i only like have 1 year experience in my current company. I was give the options to cross over as the portfolio which i took over recently will also be crossed to Structured Products. I am given the options to cross over or remain in FX & MM which the mgt has decide for me. Though as much as I wanted to cross over and learn new things, My exams and final year in my studies are my greatest obstacles. I do notwish to sacrifice my studies over werkz. Though the work load of FX & MM is lower than options, the sress and the demands are higher as it invloves huge amt of funds transacting every seconds. And any wrong move by any party, will result in overdraft face by the bank. The norm is, MGT will look or rather chase after FX & MM team as they are the one managing the cash of the bank. But its ridiculous u noe, i cant be monitoring all ccy at all times. Sometimes, the pp in securities are also dumb, they have been industry for so long. DUn tell me wat time certain ccy have their cut off times. Jus like securities sales and purchases, u can onli transact during trading hours and not any time you prefer. Thru, fx can be bought over online at any times. but u mus noe tat you can onli trade foreword value or spot value or value tom and not value today.....

I made my decision liao/ I will stay in FX & MM. Cause my studies are very impt. I am not willing to sacrifice my degree for the sake of the coy.

Hope, i made the right decision. Watever the outcome is, i muz "ren" till Feb. & I have updated my resume liao. So happy =)