"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but
about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what
it is still possible for you to do."
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday 25 June 2009
Just got home and its 11;20pm. Left with 10 dollars in my wallet & about $8 worth of value in my Ez Link card. As Highlighted by HR, I will not be paid this month as I came in past the HR cut off date for payroll which was on the 10 of every month. I asked for a loan of about SGD500/- from my month for my daily expenditure for now till July 24. Damm fucking embarrassed about asking for a loan from my mum. What kind of son ask Mum for a loan?
Been kind of busy this week. Told Nick I be free this week every evening & I be busy watching the comedy series “Are you being Served?” I was wrong, up till today, I have yet to watch it.Sigh.
I am leading a life that is so complicated and too many lifestyles in me. I am kind of happy with the current life style that I am leading right now. Though busy with work, I am happy though I am worried. Life goes on.
Feeling sleepy now. Going to remove my lens and head for the DreamLand. Good Night & Sweet dreams.
Au revoir,
3rdteen
Monday, June 15, 2009
Monday 15 June 2009
Today is the 2nd day of work. Was in ORL earlier on today for an induction & say hi to my ex-managers & colleagues. Induction was boring as per usual on the first day as it was more of administrative matters to be signed & completed with HR and do clear some compliance issues.
In between, I went up to the 4th floor and did some communications with the people I had worked with previously and gave them some cakes especially to my ex-managers for her strong recommendations to my current managers when he is in a dilemma on who to hire; between me & another candidate.
Even before work proper starts, I am already stressed as I have to prove my worth doubly hard and be more proactive in my tasks & learning.
I even did my employment check up today & I say hi to my favourite company doctor. The nurses were shocked to see that my data existed in their client database & welcome me back. Even the doc was surprised & happy to see me again. I am quite popular with the company doctor as she knows that I will only see her when I am seriously sick or when I need advice on health. She was my consulting doctor when I started my exercise regime a year ago.
X ray check up is no longer with SATA nowadays. Been changed to a private practice in Orchard. Hehehe.
Met Shane earlier on after the x-ray. Saw his bag outside California Fitness & the next moment I know he is on my left smoking. Did not chat long as I was in a hurry, as a friend, I say hi and bye to him.
Got my staff pass and building access pass today. Gosh, my staff pass is damm ugly… Hehehe
Hopefully, I can prove my worth to CS and they will hire me on a permanent basis at the end of my contract. I am happy to be part of CS again.
Today was a good day. I do hope I will receive a call frm CS Hr tomorrow & notify me that my application has been approved & I am to start work on Monday. A new week, a new beginning & I can lift my heads up high and be happy.
I do hope with the blessing of the Almighty, CS HR in NY will approve my application though it is a contract position.
I don’t wish to be a burden to my family & my friends. A job is what I need & is what I will do.
It was a pretty slow day today. This morning, I received a call from CS HR. They called me up and asked how I felt I fare for the interview and my reply was that I feel it was a good interview.
Good news came after that. HR told me that the interviewer decides to hires me and they are currently processing my application and submitting to NY for approval. Tentatively, it is a contract position for now paying me a decent amount with a contractual bonus if I stay till the end. Tentatively, my last day will be till 20 Nov 2009. Hope I will perform well and will be recommended for a permanent position internally and be given a pay that I used to get. In fact getting a contractual bonus is good enough for me as they are willing to factor that in.
I do hope that the application will be successful. So far, my mum knows about it and 4 of my close friends know about it. Told 4 of my close friends briefly that I may be offered a job real soon and I do hope to confirm the good news with them real soon. It is better than nothing. I really need the job and the money badly and I don’t wish to be in trouble. Hope this will cover me for a while and I will be able to find myself a better job.
Lets hope this piece of good news be a reality soon and I can meet Wee Chieh also for lunch one of these days once a week. Will notify him of the good news once it is confirmed and I will also get to enjoy I-run.
Anyway, I am happy that I am now 78kg. From 80, I have dropped to 78kg. I must start running soon and dropped to 68 or even better 65kg. I am kinda of obsessed losing weight and looking good and feeling good. Imagine 95kg a year ago and now 78kg.
A lean & fit body with good health is my target. Too bad, in reality, I need to be fit n healthy. Life isn’t all about work. A work life balance is a must. Work, health, fitness is a must, happiness & companionship. It is lonely being alone and to have someone by your side is kinda cool.
Keeping my fingers crossed and awaiting good news from HR tomorrow. Hope I will be able to start work asap and money wise, again, I will have to borrow from Mum for daily expenses. I am such an unfillial son to keep borrowing money from Mum for daily expenses.
I must made sure I don’t get myself into the same trouble and learnt from the mistakes I made. Think with your brain and your circumstances & never with your heart. Work is always stressful but there are ways & avenues to release it.
It was a simple lazy Sunday, as usual. Wake up early, read papers, ate 2 slice of bread and shower. Today is the day, my mum will be back in Singapore, guess and as usual I will have to fetch her from the airport.
I will be going for an interview tomorrow with my recent ex-employer. Left with a good name, hopefully, the interview will bear some fruits. Seriously, though I am not mopping and feeling down as I was weeks ago, my worries are getting more real and deep inside I am getting more worried.
Though single, I have too many commitments. The only piece of good news that I have this week is that UOB finally reply me that based on my results, I am graduating with a Bachelor Degree-Pass which is better than nothing. Though I did a direct honours degree programme, I knew myself too well. A pass is better than nothing.
How I wish I have a companion now who will support me mentally, physically and physiologically. I have come to terms nowadays that life ain’t all about work, studies and voluntary work. There are many things in life that are just too precious.
Few people I met have changed my perspective in life. To have a companion is better than nothing. I just hope the right one will appear before me and its chemistry and fate that brings us together.
Will I be able to survive the crisis I am in & clear the mess I am in? God, give me the faith, confidence, blessings from you onto me to get a good paying job asap and overcome the mess I am in. Only you, The Almighty knows the mess I am in.
Just home. Was home most of the day. Did my normal routine. Wake up at 8.am, read papers, breakfast with a cup of coffee & shower and did some household chores.
Plan was to go down to Henderson Waves later & take a walk today. It was a nice walk, I would say…
Simple and relax, I walked with my frenz down to Henderson Waves. Chatted and chill at the park for a while before heading home.
Just home. Was home most of the day. Did my normal routine. Wake up at 8.am, read papers, breakfast with a cup of coffee & shower and did some household chores.
Plan was to go down to Henderson Waves later & take a walk today. It was a nice walk, I would say…
Simple and relax, I walked with my frenz down to Henderson Waves. Chatted and chill at the park for a while before heading home.
Good news…… I cried when I was at the last 2km of my run to day. Dun noe why, tears began rolling down my cheeks at the last 2 km. It seems a sense of achievement for me.
Before I go in details of my race, report card of myself.
-No blisters, no black toe nails
-No nipple abrasion. (Only had a slight abrasion as the running tee I wore on the outer layer was slightly too big for me on my left hand(minor). It was the same running tee I wore last year. Guess, the loss of weight was too evident tat it seems so much real. Hehehe.
-Muscle sore. Sore was not as bas as previous marathons. Instead, after breakfast, I went to soak myself in the pool for the rest of the morning before heading home with a friend, Victor, who wanted to come down to take pics of me running. Well, as I really do not know what time I will end, I dare not commit my ETA due to lack of training.
-PB for 10km was 80 mins
-PB for 21km was 180 mins
-Gd effort for being on the last 10km by 5:30am. Was targeting to end by 6:30 am but my ankle hurts like mad and I had to slow down a lot in terms of speed and also to minimise injury. Instead, I finish my run around 7am. It was a gd effort I say.A year ago today, at 7am I was on the stretch of my last 10km and I completed the race ard 8:30am. With minimum training, my timing has improved by an hr. Hmm.. Perhaps I should train more and get under 5 hrs for std chart marathon 2009… Dreaming Hehehe
Anyway, this year was a much better run than any other runs I had. Each race I participate is a better run and guess wat, I had hunger pangs during the race. Something new for me and perhaps not safe for me. Bananas was limited in supply and it was often out of stock. So sad. I only had one power gel during the race to consume to satisfy my hunger.
Run and walk was my technique this year. Run and walk all the way. This was the only way I felt was feasible for me and it works out well.
I only had to psycho myself the last 10km tat my ankle pain was never there and I am perfectly fine and motivate myself to finish the 10km. It helps otherwise I would sitting at the bus stop just relaxing and refusing to move an inch.
This year Finisher tee was so damm cool. Love it a lot and I took sz L and I actually can wore it. Nice and cool. Damm sexy.
Even my friend Hong Ping who have not seen me since Sundown 08 complimented that I slimmed down a lot. Nice. Good motivation. People that I met last year at Sundown 08 were pretty amazed by my perseverance & the physical change in me from last year to current…
Hmm perhaps I should put 2008 sundown photos and compared against myself in 2009.
& last but not least, I wanna thank Salsa frm my running grp unknowingly pacing me in my last 15 km…. I always have to made sure that he is always behind me… Hehehe.. The moment he overtook me, I must paced myself up & made sure I am in front of him…. Sigh, Salsa overtook me in the last 2km of the race and I am unable to overtake him again. Anyway, Salsa from Sgrunners, Thanks for pacing my pace…You will never know it but u have helped paced a fellow runner.
Anyway, in LDR race, I always find myself a pacer who is a stranger and I made sure that the pacers are either within visible distance in front of me or behind me. That is to motivate myself to do better.
Hmmm… Tats me on the eve of the race at my friend’s place and this was taken around 5pm which I was supposed to be sleeping. Guess anxiety and anxiousness took over me resulting in me being worried & unable to sleep.
According to my friend, this was my facial expression the whole day since I reached his place at 8:30 am. Wow, I did not realise it & btw this blog is heng not written on the eve. If it was, I will be pouring out my feelings again… Hehehe
Anyway, on the eve, was at my friend’s place helping him out with his grocery shopping for the bbq later in the day. Helped prepared marinate the steak, baked brownies, quish & a mushroom & asparagus pie.
In fact by 1pm all this was done & I decided to chill out by watching DVDs & watched 5 episodes of Are you being served? Though a nice British comedy, I was unable to enjoy it fully. Reason caused my mentality was on the race and nothing else was on my mind.
Though I was yawning heavily the whole afternoon, I forced myself to sleep, I was still awake. Played PSP, listen music and still I am wide awake. Hehehe…
In the end, I had a chat with my other friend before its time for me to shower and get ready for the run. I prepared myself physically as early as 7pm to meet my friends at 9:45pm. In the end, by the time we left Pasir Ris Mrt station, it was abt 10pm and took the bus shortly after that..
Few of my friends called me before that wishing me all the best for my race and not to injured myself.
I only hope that it was a good race.
All I could say before my race, I met my friend, TLR, founder of SG Runners, the running grp that I belong to. He finished the 1st lap of his 84km route by 11:30 and he was one of the top 20 ultra atheletes running 84km. Many people were rooting for him when he ran past by and overhear some people saying tat this guys must be famous since so many people are rooting for him… Hmm guess, those bunches not aware of the running scene. Well, if you ae in the running scene, u will roughly know who is who.
Me..
Who am I?
What do I want?
I only wish for one thing.
Happiness.
It is something that I am lacking of.
Happiness is like the next impossible thing in life for me.
I like to complain and yes I complain alot but for things that are not right. If you know me well enough then you will know that I always complain for a reason :D otherwise I am just like any quiet guy next door starring at the laptop screen.
